Bluebird

Thursday, March 19

What do you wish for? Home?

I heard a song today, God just made me stop and listen.

I never heard it before, though you probably have. As I was listening, the woman running the cash register at the cafeteria came over and told me how special it was to her..."be careful what you wish for, you just might get it." Her 7 year old son wished for a brother and a sister, and she soon had twins, a boy and a girl.

Its a love song, but I hear this as a song to God, an apology and a declaration that he is the one place where our pain is changed and feeling good doesn't cost a thing.

You know this is what God wishes = that you come home to Him.

What do you wish for?

Home

(Chris Daughtry)

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,

And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.

I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Saturday, March 7

Are you aware of being rich? Life to the Full

Today I was with my friends from LifeChurch to help feed some of the homeless at Horizon House. Just like most of these things, when we try to help someone else, sometimes we actually get the better end of the bargain as God reached through that situation to help us.

When the day started, I was battling all sorts of lies, despite having been reminded that I was at war by a passage from John Eldridge from Walking the Dead. He cited this verse:

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10)

A couple of the guys we were serving came up and spoke a few words, one reminded us we were blessed, every day. This from a man without a house, car, family or even food! Another man said “Today was the day that the rich people came to feed the poor people, and found out that we are all the same.“ I didn’t exactly feel rich, but I had to agree tonight as i was telling my son…this man was right. We do all depend on God for our strength, protection and provision, and we have to surrender it back to Him. Some of us are just more aware than others.

Finally, I spoke with a brother today who is also fighting old temptations. He knows it, and that’s part of the reason and he is winning, he is more aware. Are you?

Sunday, February 22

Hostage: Approval trap

Why do I blog? As I’ve said before, blogging helps me slow down long enough to build momentum and press deeper the truths God brings me in Life. Below are notes from Tony Portel’s message last Sunday that touched a subject of bondage for me and many others: Approval.

We all have issues and fears, and two things drive us, security and significance. The approval trap deals with a wrong view of others and fear of rejection. Its hard to get approval that we need from others, mainly because they don’t have the capacity to give all we need (this was an extremely helpful reminder…its not even their fault). People are not that secure. That’s why we hurt the people closest to us the most. He described the work of Charles Cooley, whose concept of The looking-glass self suggests we base our self worth on “what the most important person in the room thinks about us”. This has devastating for me in my marriage, on the job, with my children. It is not the way God intended.

Now satan is tied down but he can still deceive, and this is an area where he gets us to do his work for him; to destroy ourselves. I thought about my daughters as he explained how a teenage girl need to have security, to know she is loved. She needs to know she is a woman that God loves. Am I working with God in this, or against him?

Tony went on to describe his own story, his parents and his work in a congregation in St. Louis, where he was confronted with the statement “We esteemed your gift more than you.” He learned that “You love me enough to love me more than what I do.” He had to face the fact that his approval came from God not others.

My identity = What others think+my performance

OR

My identity = What God thinks + Jesus performance

God has gone beyond Justification (Legally forgiven by the death of Jesus on the cross) to reconciliation (relational aspect—Loved by god). We have God’s constant approval, not conditional. We seldom receive unconditional love, that’s why it’s so hard to receive from God. Click the thumbnail chart to the left to see our responses to not getting approval (Scheme, Hide, Fight). I probably fall in scheme column “Beat the system” more often than others; I can easily drift to persuasion, some others hide. We looked at a few verses last Tues. in the Band of Brothers men’s group:

Gal 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men or please God?
Psalm 51:10-12 “Restore the Joy of my Salvation”
Heb 11:6 Without Faith it is impossible to please God
Rom 5:9-11 We have been justified, reconciled
Rom 8:38-39 Nothing can separate us from the love of God

Tony finished with several key thoughts: 1) Will you listen to the lies or truth? 2) When you are secure you don’t listen to others opinions then you can hear God better. 3) If you will live your life on the foundation of God’s truth, you will live the LIFE he intended.

Highlights

Friday, February 20

Listening

Several months ago, I started reading the Bible with my sons….its been great. After a while my wife started to join us. Its been a time that God has honored over and over again.

Yesterday, I asked on of my sons if he had done something I asked him to do. He answered that he thought I said something else (so he really didn’t do what I asked). Now normally, I try to give him grace, assume the best etc. Last night, when he said this, it seemed he needed a strong rebuke, right in front of everyone else. I didn’t like doing it, but in this case, it turned out to be the right thing to do. I told him, “You must have NOT been listening, because I know what I said, and you understood it then”.

How was I to know that night we would read Mark 3:3-9. Its the parable of the sower, (you know the hard ground, the rocky ground and the thorns). Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand. We talked about how the disciples went away, then later asked Jesus about it, so they could understand. So listening wasn’t just hearing, it was also considering, holding onto and reaching for the the opportunity to understand.

Right before the reading this, my son walked into my room and gave a really heartfelt apology; not after this reading but before. I was able to forgive him, hug him and tell him how much he meant to me, and remind him how important it was for him to listen. Then, when we read about the sower, that earlier conversation and forgiveness made the reading all the better. He understood. :)

Hebrews 11:6 is a verse that came up several times this week…in different settings:

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. (Hebrew 11:6)

Do we believe that going to God will result in a reward, do we go earnestly, expectantly, hopefully?

Misty Edwards:Waiting for the rain

Monday, February 9

Hostage to Performance: Always on Stage

Hostage: Someone held against their will in a place they do not want to be.

The bible is full of references to God rescuing. What are we to be rescued from? Below are my notes from Tony Portel’s message

Do I believe the lie?: "You are unlovable, unforgivable."

“Laughter can conceal a heavy heart” Prov 14:13, but “Saying things are all right will not make it well” Jer. 6:13.

Time does not heal all wounds, but like Ogres in Shreck, there are layers of an onion that need to be peeled back.

Who are we at center? Reasons why we hurt:

Physiological problems
Experiences that shape who we are
Childhood and our parents
You have an enemy that wants to steal, kill and destroy
You can be free “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free John 8:32

Performance (the first lie)

Extreme perfectionism leads to extremes (strain to succeed or withdrawal. I must meet certain Standards to feel good
Avoidance of risk (my father could not let me see him fail)
Anger/resentment: we cannot criticism
Pride: Leads to Judgment
Anxiety and Fear: We might fail
Depression: Failure of high standards
Dishonesty: Hide failure or embellish
Low motivation: don’t try rather than risk failure
Chemical addiction: Break away or break down

Justification (TRUTH about how to be made right, absolved of guilt)

“We have peace with God ….because of what Christ has done for us.” Romans 5:1

Nothing to do with “worthiness” will make God love me more or less than he already does. It’s not “God is gonna get you”, but he loves me so much all he sees is the cross when he looks at my book of sins.

“But now he has reconciled youby his physical body through death to present you holy, without blemish, and blameless before him” Col 1:22

Made a grown man cry

You can fail, it’s not your identity. “Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Roman 8:39 Right here i realized the lie, I am not separated from God. The truth set me free, again.

Change? What is next?

Be honest with God: Are you afraid to let others in?
Right relationships. Trust others.
Need God’s word, be renewed day by day, not by what people think.
God’s holy spirit is needed
We need time, healing is a process, time to think differently

Saturday, February 7

The Love Dare: A Journal, a Revelation, a Mystery

I found myself laugh when I read that marriage is THE most important relationship for those who are married. How can that be? ….read about Sarah and Abraham, Hosea and Gomer, Mary and Joseph.

If you are married, you have a problem, and great opportunities. God’s word through friends and this book/movie (Fireproof) have helped me break strongholds and changed the way I think. She is my queen, my counterpart…and she needs forgiveness, mercy and love and a relationship that only I can give her. I finally finished (the book), and much of this is, well, personal. But I wanted to remember the steps that brought me so far, so fast and be thankful.

This simple little book has the keys to help unlock the secrets that I forgot through the years, or may never have learned. That simplicity comes without minimizing the mystery of marriage (Ephesians 5).

Click the links below to find out more…I dare you!