Point Man
Steve Farrar
Here again I jot down the main points of a book that will
wake us up. I wish I had read this
right about the time I got married. That said, there is plenty here for the man
without a family. My main takeaway was
the importance of devotional time, really meditating on that fellowship with
God such that I am changed. I also felt
the need to get others more involved in my life….still looking for a way for that to come about.
1.
Point man
on patrol: War has been declared on
the family, and like the leader of a small platoon, what you say and do will
determine whether your family members will live or die. Stan has two specific goals in his war on the family:
·
Strategy #1) To effectively alienate and sever a
husband’s relationship with his wife (physical or emotional).
·
Strategy #2) To effectively alienate and sever a
father’s relationship with his children.
Overall, Satan is trying to neutralize the the man of the family. The
problem with “Quality time” is that you never know when quality time is going
to show up.
2.
Save the
boys. “A boy is the only thing that
God can use to make a man.” (Cal Farley).
The premise here is that fathering as a craft has been removed from an
ancient pattern of Fathers “apprenticing” their sons starting around age
7. Largely this has been accomplished by
the industrial revolution, where fathers have left the home to work in
factories instead of taking their sons to work. LESS TIME=LESS INFLUENCE. ERROR increases with distance. Jonathan Edwards left a multi-generational
impact through his focus on his boys.
3.
Real Men
Don’t. The title says it all. Real men don’t mess around with women who are
not their wives. They may listen, and
provide comfort, but….”If you and your wife are struggling, this woman probably
will be more understanding than your wife.
But why is she more understanding?
I hate to be the one who breaks the news, but its probably because she
doesn’t know you very well. J Roger Staubach answered a rough question by
saying I’m sure I’m as sexually active as Joe [Namath], The difference is that
all of mine is with one woman.
4.
A
one-woman kind of man. Clearly,
since I am not married, this chapter was a little tough to read, but the same
thoughts apply..”I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl
(Job 31:1). CS. Lewis wrote, “If you
look upon ham and eggs and lust, you have already committed breakfast in your
heart”. A one-woman kind of man must
have a predetermined plan fixed in his mind so he can withstand the sneak
attacks of the enemy. We never know when
we are going to be tempted with our eyes.”
Franklin Jones wrote, “What makes resisting temptation difficult for
many people is they don’t want to discourage it completely.” But we should “demolish” and “take captive”
every thought (2Cor 10:3-5). A great example was
learning to dribble left-handed, awkward until practice made perfect.
5.
Anorexic
Men and Bulimic cousins. This
chapter describes those of us who either refuse to read God’s word, or vomit it
up rather than put it into practice. In
Fact the strategy #3 of satan is to
effectively sever and alienate a man from the spiritual disciplines that will
keep him it and effective for spiritual battle.
With regard to Bulimia, the opposite of ignorance is not knowledge, but
obedience. The antidote is meditation;
it is to the soul what digestion is to the body. Several suggestions, the one
that stood out was start a scripture memory program, small accountability
groups, with weekly assignments throughout the week. Roots of a tree are 3x the size of the crown.
6.
Aerobic
kneeling: Two mistakes are 1) Scripture without prayer or 2) prayer without
scripture.
·
Plan a time
·
Plan a place
·
Make a list of issues to pray about
·
Begin with scripture
·
Make yourself accountable to someone.
7.
Husband
and wife teamwork in the marriage cockpit.
Clearly this is something that might have helped me when I was
married. A warning to the wife to be the
submissive to the quarterback, but a husband who is loving rather than
authoritarian. He loves his wife with
understanding, the idea of insight and tactfulness). Verbal praise and mutual
accountability.
8.
Birth of
a tangent- questioning why parents don’t have children
9. How to raise masculine sons and feminine
daughters
·
Do no embitter, provoke to anger exasperate
(Ephesians 6:4)
·
Be a compass, showing by example the life of
Christ
·
Balancing tenderness and firmness
10. Telling your kids what you don’t want to
tell them: The premise here is that
by the age of 7 to 8, its about time to start telling them about the birds and
the bees, and if you don’t do it, some 8 or 9 year old will, setting the stage
for all sorts of problems later in life.
·
Small questions deserve small answers
·
Big questions deserve big answers
·
Frank questions deserve frank answers
·
Be casual
·
Do not underestimate the power of a teachable
moment
·
Let them know they can ask anything and get a
straight answer
11. Rock and Role model. His attempt to sum the message of the book is
this: you must be a rock for your family and you must be a role model. The fruit is muti-generational.
Working through that sermon in our LifeGroup it occurred to me why its hard to realize our time is limited: Because we worry instead of follow the Spirit, consume instead of care and ruminate instead of meditate. "Ruminate" means to compulsively focus attention on symptoms of distress and possible consequences as opposed to its solutions. Ruminate is similar to "worry", except looking backwards instead of forwards, not something I don't want to do.
