The Indy 500

Living in Indy for 17 years, I've never gone to the 500. We rode bikes from Bill and DJ's place, a lot of fun. We joked about advertising to all the stopped cars. We even met a WWII vet on his bike (a 50-year guarantee he said).

My main takeaway came after watching about eight or nine cars taken out of the race due to accidents. I imagined the drivers spending their whole life to get to this point, then loosing everything they dreamed about in an instant.

At least three drivers were simple victims of another driver's choice. The reporter asked one driver how he felt about it, his reply was "You can't let this place get you down, you have to be positive, and just come back next year". His choice in that moment seemed better than a couple of others who cried (Sarah Fischer), or jumped out of their car threatening to get physical revenge (Danica).

More than a positive attitude, we believe that our Dad will help us finish the race, even when it seems that the wheels come off and all is lost. The world can't understand and sometimes we can't explain, we just believe based on His indestructible life (Heb 7:16).

Remember, I Forget

John 19:2-3
The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed him in a purple robe and went up to him again and again, saying, "Hail, king of the Jews!" And they struck him in the face.

Almost anyone who reads this wants to cringe....How could anyone do this to another human, let alone the lamb of God?

They didn't believe. They thought he was the reason for the problem, or an incidental part of reality, instead of the answer. I do that. Looking back over just the past week I have hit those troughs where I've been hurt, ran out of steam, and actually told someone I need to "hit some trash cans". If I stopped to ask why I might have found the answer. But like a friend of mine says, sometime we have to hit bottom before we can bounce back.

Look at the Hebrews, right after plagues that released them from Egypt, they were complaining before the Red Sea, or after the Read Sea, complaining about the manna. Something in me is the same, I forget the miracles, the love, the tenderness that Father has shown. I forget the fullness of fellowship with those who love Him. I forget the beauty and connection from music made for Him.

I forget.

But God does not leave us there. Through pain comes pursuit, and by pursuit he brings brings us back into His pleasure....and fullness.

Heb 12:11, Heb 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

I did have a very happy ending just before I left on a long trip to Chicago. I asked Him for help and I got it...Wisdom, words and a card in the mail from Starbucks that was labeled "An Invitation" to Starbucks for chocolate.

It was the perfect segue, at the perfect time, into a very important conversation with someone I love.

I write these words to remind myself to remember, I forget. You can remind me too. :)

The Right Story in the Battle

I believe in You (The Kry)

years ago
when i said i'll follow You
i didn't know
what it meant to
take my cross and go against the flow
to deny myself
to lose my life to gain it all

since i've learned
life's a battlefield
and i'm a soldier
when marching through
the evil under fire
You remain my shield
in my darkest hour
yes i know life ain't no bed of roses
so as i go i will hold to You again

Today this song played on my IPOD on the drive into work. I thought about the line "Life's a battlefield" and the idea from John Elderidge quote we have focused on in the Band of Brothers ....unless you understand that you are in a battle, you will misunderstand 90% of life.

Today in a training class at work, we talked about "Crucial Conversations", (a topic bigger than one post). The point that struck me most clearly was the progression from facts--->to telling ourself a story (judgement)---> to acting. Often the result is silence or violence, unless both in the conversation feel safe and loved. IF the battle is all about me, I am going to rush to defense and follow my emotions.

If, however, the battle is all about God, then I will not use judgement, but ask questions (of God and the others) to probe how to build common cause. This would lead to more creative options and chances to build trust. The battle is spritual, not flesh and blood.

Could this be the escape from traps of Villian/Victim/Helpless?

Learning From History

Hitler and Churchill, men among the great leaders of their time. They moved millions of people from the center-fold of complacency. They prepared and led their country to victory, and sustained it during defeat. As leaders, both men had learned from History.

Hitler found the power of fear and suspicion as he looked back to the 1st and 2nd Reichs. He studied how to manipulate the masses, using charismatic speech that created enemies from innocents (the Jews, and other people who were different). He learned to divide and conquer, interestingly a British maxim.

Churchill learned too. A insatiable student of history he wrote many books on the subject. In a church history course tonight, I heard he wrote

"The greatest advances in human civilization have come when we recovered what was lost: when we learned the lessons of history"

He also wrote "History is written by the victors."

Reader, if you ever wondered...this is why I blog. Careening through my days, too often I realize that I have ignored my closest companion. Blogging slows me down to ponder the lessons of the days behind. I leak, I forget, and it helps to be reminded in this way that there is a path I am on, a story, and its not about me. Its His story.

Revelation Song

Right after the camping trip (see later post), DJ, Amanda and I met the new Costa Rica Team to share what we learned about expecting God, listening and acting boldly and how we recognized the different gifts in the team. Gifts that keeps giving.

Later we went to visit some friends at Every Nations Church in Carmel Indiana, some of the Costa Rica team. I was reminded of the power and passion of worship in Costa Rica by the night of praise here in Indiana. It was a night when I was reminded of Father's love, running to Him with arms open, like a little child about to be picked up...praise as it was meant to be. A praise of passion that has many forms (see three versions below) but one end...a REAL connection with our Papa Dios.

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of Sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father" The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's Children. ...if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory. Romans 8:15-17

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything,
And I will adore You…!

Trip to Durham and the Big Story

In April we traveled to North Carolina, a trip that exceeded expectations.

I am so grateful that our children could meet and experience family on the farm, and an unconditional love that became the theme of the trip. We stumbled into a place called Chimney Rock NC, and you could see for miles and mile in every direction....a picture of God's supremacy and majesty. From Chapel Hill, we left and spent the day with Sherri's parents and Grandfather, who was about to celebrate his 90th birthday. It was good to pass along some love to him from God, to listen to his stories and become part of his story as we heard in a book by John Eldridge (EPIC). It describes how we are all invited to be part of God's story, one that existed before us and will endure after us. I was glad for the children to see they were part of a larger story.

God goes Fishing: Unconditional Love
After spending some time with the grandparents on the back porch, Dave and Sean each caught three fish with the help of their uncle Evan. Evan brought timeless fishing tips, rigged the gear, bought minnows and dug worms with Pop. it all began to sink in how much I had lost over the years in terms of relationships and unconditional love. On our trip back we listened to a talk by Brennan Manning (Author of "Abbas' Child"), focusing on the crazy farmer who paid his workers not according to the hours they worked, but according to his greatness, and again how our love for others is connected to the love we receive from God. I felt more and more convicted to show that Love to my children.

Not under Law, but Under Grace (Romans 12): Our most dramatic moments
Once in Winston the girl's cousin Emily shared her own story about college, her family and an upcoming mission trip. Someone asked her "Are you satisfied with your walk with God?". With radiant grace and a huge smile, Emily answered, "I don't know if anyone is ever satisfied with God" and continued to tell her story about how God had shown her a love she didn't deserve, and incredible as it seems, wants us to have that same love for others, even the guy in the car ahead of us, or the lady in the checkout line. It an amazing conversation, as we all listening with smiles as Emily described God's loving character and treatment of us, and how we are drawn into him. As we left the restaurant, Emily gave us a beautiful painting she had made in a time of her own difficulty...a small girl looking to a big blue sky with arms held up,,, the caption read "You are not under law, but under grace" Romans 12 . It was a beautiful and precious moment, presented by people across many states that had been praying literally for months.

We paused to see the Biltmore House in Asheville NC on the way back, and realized the almost limitless resources of a king. It helped me see how a king can give beyond our wildest imaginations.

The follies which a man regrets most

The follies which a man regrets most, in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. - Helen Rowland

A man with a sandwich board which on the front said “I’m a Fool for Christ” – and on the back “whose Fool are you?”.

Yesterday it became clear to me that I am approaching a new chapter, a time to leave my comfort zone. Not sure yet what that means, but several events seem to be pointing in the same directions:

Nigerian missionaries: One step of faith leading to another

Crucial Conversations: Talking directly but lovingly about stuff that matters

Leap of Faith: Indiana Jones view of why and how faith occurs from LifeChurch:

1. It's impossible to please God without Faith....
2. He doesn't respond to our need, he responds to our faith...
3. We need faith to resist attacks of the enemy..

Stay tuned...

You are my strong tower

Today I was afraid.

I was traveling on a business trip. I was afraid I would be late, look stupid, trouble my host, fall asleep driving back home from Columbus and a bunch of other things. I woke before the alarm went off. And prayed while I read the daily bible. It seemed like God was saying, don't be afraid, I am with you...I will protect you. I had the sense of His presence coming down like a blanket. It was a new picture of being hidden in Him. A complete peace, not from any new understanding, just pure grace. I had other problems during the day, but not fear.

The memorable quote of the all day business trip from my host was "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"(Einstein) However the Truth dives deeper.....my good friend Scott Himes said yesterday "we can't let past experience drive future expectations". He is the answer, not our experience...expect great things from the Holy Spirit.

Several days ago a very special brother sent this song along, with the encouragement that I am to see God as my Strong Tower, and be that tower for my own children. The one line that stood out most of all was "Your face is all I seek ", because when I seek him, everything else seems to work out.


You are my strong tower

You are my strong tower
Shelter over me
Beautiful and mighty
Everlasting King

You are my strong tower
Fortress when I'm weak
Your name is true and holy
And Your face is all I seek

In the middle of my darkness
In the midst of all my fear
You're my refuge and my hope
When the storm of life is raging
And the thunder's all I hear
You speak softly to my soul

Kutless

Day 8: Eden (La Paz Garden)

March 7th Friday
7:30 Breakfast and dishes
8:30 Devotional (Dan and Cindy – your Gifts)
9:30 On the road for fun day
12:00 Lunch
5:30 Dinner
6:30 Communion and debriefing
8:30 pack for trip
9:00 Lights out

I woke up Friday morning, physically refreshed, but somehow mentally exhausted. This was the first day since we got there that I began to think of going home. Sure, I missed my family, but that gap felt much greater all of a sudden. I knew we were scheduled for a trip to the rainforest. Somehow a trip through the woods didn’t seem like it could really meet my needs. Once again, I was surprised.

Like all the other days, this day started with a devotional. This time though it was Dan and Cindy’s turn. We all shared the part of the trip that had been meaningful to us, and we each had a different story. Dan remembered the night at Sixola and the lady that DJ prayed for. Katy talked about that too, when she hugged a woman who was stiff as a board, and how she felt God’s heart for the woman, to love the unloved, a woman who said she didn’t want to live anymore. I thought that’s when Christians are at their best, expressing that father-heart of God and participating in the rescue, the redemption of a soul. That’s what we had done for others….together. Lisa talked about the prayer time and the devotionals. Bill came back to the theme of helping the hopeless.

Dan warned us that the mind was still processing all this. Emotions may not be able to process. We should not come home and begin to judge others as self-centered and materialistic, but focus on what God was calling us to do…to send or to go to the mission field. We can make a difference. (This turned out to be true as we all returned, and had sort of “post-partum” blues as we realized the gap between life in “the River” and our ordinary lives.)

At the end of the devotional we took a few minutes to do something far to rare--to appreciate the unique gifts and contributions of each other. I hope each of the team kept what was written on the sheet of paper about them. We circulated a sheet of paper for each person, describing how we felt God had used and gifted them on the trip. It was a great way to be thankful to God and each other.

Here is a list we used to encourage each other and help people see themselves as God does. Clearly there are other gifts, but this helped us begin to be thankful for the people we had spent the last week with in a deeper way.

• Pure in Heart- your life is marked with integrity before God and other people
• Peacemaker- you have a gift from God to help people overcome their differences
• Transparent- you can be yourself without any pretenses and let the light of Christ shine through you
• Faithful- you are faithful to uphold God’s morality even under pressure
• Merciful/Compassionate- you have the ability to feel what others feel- to be happy or hurt with them
• Meek/Gentle- you can be outwardly tender because you are inwardly strong
• Spiritually hungry- I admire the ongoing in your heart for a growing, genuine relationship with God
• Always loving- you have a Christ-like capacity to love others unconditionally- no matter what
• Community Builder- God uses you as a bond to bring people together in unity
• Humble- I admire the quiet way you demonstrate what humility is all about
• Generous-you give freely, not for attention or praise but for the simple joy of giving
• Contented- you know that your worth is based on who you are rather than on what you have
• Joyful-regardless of the circumstances you have a smile on your face and a positive outlook about life
• Patient- you never seem to be in a hurry or to get irritated by others

As we went to the Garden’s of La Paz, it was sweet to think I was going to the Garden of Eden with God’s beloved. It reminded me of something that John Eldridge writes about--the Garden of Eden in Genesis 2, before the fall. This is the way God meant for it to be, enjoying each other together.

We closed communion with a simple song of praise to God...one word...Alleluia. The word in Hebrew means "praise Yahweh".

Day 7: The Beach Devotion Trip Back to Villa Esperanza

March 6th Thursday

7:00 Breakfast
7:45 Devotional on Beach (Amanda Psalm 97)
9:00 On the road back to Villa Esperanza
12:30 Lunch
5:00 dinner

Day seven was a day of rest; after so many days of rushing wind, it seemed more like a day to catch our breath and reconnect with God in a deep almost unspoken way. Amanda led a devotional on the beach, the only day that matched the expectated coastal view of Costa Rica. Looking out at the waves She read about God's power, beauty and majesty, as seen in the created nature.

Psalm 104

14 He makes grass grow for the cattle,
and plants for man to cultivate—
bringing forth food from the earth:
15 wine that gladdens the heart of man,
oil to make his face
shine,
and bread that sustains his heart.
16 The trees of the Lord
are well watered,
the cedars of Lebanon that he planted.
17 There the birds make their nests;
the stork has its home in the pine
trees.
18 The high mountains belong to the wild goats;
the crags are a refuge for the coneys.

I realized that on this leg of the trip, I hadn't packed enough shirts, and so I had to borrow one from Scott, one that he had already worn. I realized when I got back in Indy, this was a championship track shirt, and thought what a great guy he was to let me wear something that must have been a keepsake.

After the devotional I remember running like John Eldridge described in EPIC, Free, full and as part of a fellowship...the others probably thought I had lost it. Didn't matter, the next half hour was just a private time with God, it seemed like he was reminding me I was like the coney in the crag, My identity is hidden in Him.

DJ and I played coconut football, and latter on the trip back to Villa Esperanza, I think everyone was relaxed, and we got to know each other at a level of friendship and trust that only shared battle can bring. Some didn't wait to take a nap!

Back at the Villa, DJ asked if I wanted to play chess. I was deliriously tiered, and he beat me in about 6 moves. We twisted Scott's arm to play a game, and that led to a Titanic battle that DJ almost won. A couple of the nicest smart guys you'll ever meet. DJ still owes me a rematch!

Medical Missionaries:

Last night several of us from our hospitality small group (Josh and Marcella W., Chris and Amy M. and our hosts Nathan and Kristin S.) went out to a fundraiser for MedSend, a group that sponsors doctors to go into the mission field. A wonderful story of a missionary's personal conversion (spurred by his pre-school daughter) was followed by a series of equally miraculous healings among a tribe in Nigeria where he has dedicated his life over the last 15 years. Surrounding Muslim tribes have accepted him as a friend and leader, opening up that part of the world to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

It was great to hear doctors and professionals pray together, one of whom from Nigeria recalled an ancient prayer I had not heard recently from St. Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.