Point Man

Point Man
Steve Farrar    

Here again I jot down the main points of a book that will wake us up.   I wish I had read this right about the time I got married. That said, there is plenty here for the man without a family.  My main takeaway was the importance of devotional time, really meditating on that fellowship with God such that I am changed.  I also felt the need to get others more involved in my life….still looking for a  way for that to come about.

1.     Point man on patrol:  War has been declared on the family, and like the leader of a small platoon, what you say and do will determine whether your family members will live or die. Stan has two specific  goals in his war on the family:

·       Strategy #1) To effectively alienate and sever a husband’s relationship with his wife (physical or emotional).

·       Strategy #2) To effectively alienate and sever a father’s relationship with his children.  Overall, Satan is trying to neutralize the the man of the family. The problem with “Quality time” is that you never know when quality time is going to show up.   

2.     Save the boys.  “A boy is the only thing that God can use to make a man.” (Cal Farley).  The premise here is that fathering as a craft has been removed from an ancient pattern of Fathers “apprenticing” their sons starting around age 7.  Largely this has been accomplished by the industrial revolution, where fathers have left the home to work in factories instead of taking their sons to work. LESS TIME=LESS INFLUENCE.  ERROR increases with distance.  Jonathan Edwards left a multi-generational impact through his focus on his boys. 

3.     Real Men Don’t.  The title says it all.  Real men don’t mess around with women who are not their wives.  They may listen, and provide comfort, but….”If you and your wife are struggling, this woman probably will be more understanding than your wife.  But why is she more understanding?  I hate to be the one who breaks the news, but its probably because she doesn’t know you very well.  J   Roger Staubach answered a rough question by saying I’m sure I’m as sexually active as Joe [Namath], The difference is that all of mine is with one woman.

4.     A one-woman kind of man.  Clearly, since I am not married, this chapter was a little tough to read, but the same thoughts apply..”I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl (Job 31:1).  CS. Lewis wrote, “If you look upon ham and eggs and lust, you have already committed breakfast in your heart”.  A one-woman kind of man must have a predetermined plan fixed in his mind so he can withstand the sneak attacks of the enemy.  We never know when we are going to be tempted with our eyes.”  Franklin Jones wrote, “What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don’t want to discourage it completely.”  But we should “demolish” and “take captive” every thought  (2Cor 10:3-5). A great example was learning to dribble left-handed, awkward until practice made perfect.

5.     Anorexic Men and Bulimic cousins.  This chapter describes those of us who either refuse to read God’s word, or vomit it up rather than put it into practice.  In Fact the strategy #3 of satan is to effectively sever and alienate a man from the spiritual disciplines that will keep him it and effective for spiritual battle.  With regard to Bulimia, the opposite of ignorance is not knowledge, but obedience.  The antidote is meditation; it is to the soul what digestion is to the body. Several suggestions, the one that stood out was start a scripture memory program, small accountability groups, with weekly assignments throughout the week.  Roots of a tree are 3x the size of the crown.

6.     Aerobic kneeling: Two mistakes are 1) Scripture without prayer or 2) prayer without scripture.

·       Plan a time

·       Plan a place

·       Make a list of issues to pray about

·       Begin with scripture

·       Make yourself accountable to someone.    

7.     Husband and wife teamwork in the marriage cockpit.  Clearly this is something that might have helped me when I was married.  A warning to the wife to be the submissive to the quarterback, but a husband who is loving rather than authoritarian.  He loves his wife with understanding, the idea of insight and tactfulness). Verbal praise and mutual accountability.

8.     Birth of a tangent- questioning why parents don’t have children 

9.     How to raise masculine sons and feminine daughters

·       Do no embitter, provoke to anger exasperate (Ephesians 6:4)

·       Be a compass, showing by example the life of Christ

·       Balancing tenderness and firmness

10.  Telling your kids what you don’t want to tell them:  The premise here is that by the age of 7 to 8, its about time to start telling them about the birds and the bees, and if you don’t do it, some 8 or 9 year old will, setting the stage for all sorts of problems later in life.

·       Small questions deserve small answers

·       Big questions deserve big answers

·       Frank questions deserve frank answers

·       Be casual

·       Do not underestimate the power of a teachable moment

·       Let them know they can ask anything and get a straight answer

11.  Rock and Role model.  His attempt to sum the message of the book is this: you must be a rock for your family and you must be a role model. The fruit is muti-generational.